You might define an entangled world as chaotic, messy, problematic, but me? There’s only one word, which I must say carries a fair amount of entanglement in its package – love.
Entangled – the cause to be caught in a certain something. Have you ever went on a walk for the plain motif of being alone, walking on the cobbled pavements, contemplating life’s decisions, when a certain young couple in their 20s -giggling, genuine smiles radiating off their faces? I’m sure we’ve all been there; I definitely have. You might define an entangled world as chaotic, messy, problematic, but me? There’s only one word, which I must say carries a fair amount of entanglement in its package – love.
At this point you might want to turn down this paper cause this is completely cliché, but let me elaborate, love, may not always be a fairytale’s happily ever after. Sometimes love’s simple, sometimes rather intricate. If you’ve been in a relationship, or even if you haven’t, a matter of fact-ly, at some point in your life you’d have experienced this certain warm, fuzzy feeling generating from your insides, and if a certain instant comes to mind, fabulous. Is that person or thing that generated that feeling, perfect? Experience tells me otherwise.
Truth be told, if someone were to come up to you and ask why you were friends with this person, some would put it as ‘Oh, she’s perfect’, but that’s not the truth, isn’t it? As mundanes we’re imperfection-bound, so as to speak, we make mistakes, we say the wrong things, we flip out on rare occasions, and we break. But ask any person that’s connected to a family member, or a friend, they don’t stop being friends or family simply because of their flaws, if we find it in our heart to love, we’d be able to look past the mistakes and outbursts, and find the good side to that person, and only in love, will we be able to do that.
Let me illustrate further. February 1993 is a date that Mary Johnson will probably never forget. A dispute between her 20-year-old son, Laramiun Byrd and 16- year-old Oshea Israel would take a turn for the worse, ending in the shooting of Laramiun by Oshea. “My son was gone. I was angry and hated this boy, hated his mother.” said Johnson as she recounted the immediate aftermath and to be honest, who could blame her. But as Oshea served his 17 year prison sentence, Johnson struggled with her faith as overtime she felt a greater urge to meet Israel face-to-face in order to see whether she could indeed forgive him. Remarkably, she did and now Israel and Johnson are good friends. “Unforgiveness is like cancer” she says, “It will eat you from the inside out.”
And I know you’re probably asking “But what if they close me out, what if they don’t apologize?” See, it’s not about forgiving someone who asked for forgiveness that makes it beautiful, it’s about forgiving someone that didn’t ask for it, and accepting an apology you never received, and understand that by doing this it doesn’t mean you’re waving the white flag, you just need to be the bigger person in some situations. And if it’s a close friend? To be a good friend is to say “I’ll be here for you if you need me” when they say “No, thank you”, I completely understand that some need time to themselves and prefer to solve things on their own, but that shouldn’t stop you from being a shoulder for them to cry on.
For me? If we talk about love, I remember someone asking me this once, “What’s so special about him, I mean best friends for 7 years?” I remember my answer like it was yesterday: “His heart. He wears it on his sleeve, even after everything he’s been through. After all of the heartbreak and pain he’s experienced you’d expect him to be protective over that fragile heart of his. But he’s not, he doesn’t guard it, he doesn’t build any walls. He’s an open book; vulnerable, you’d say. He loves the way that everyone should love, the way everyone dreams of being loved. With his whole heart, mind, and body. He loves until he can’t, and then he does again. There were times that I went crying over my problems, rambling about how unfair it was to him, and he just listened, and at the end of every conversation, he’d always say, ‘All you need is your heart, faith, and a little pixie dust, I promise everything’s going to be okay.’”
So love, no matter the consequences, no matter how tangled up you get, because it’s nothing more that imperfections need to make them perfect than a little love.
The overall message of the piece is spectacular but would benefit greatly in terms of clarity with smoother transitions between paragraphs. The variation in tone between the paragraph about forgiveness and the later personal anecdote could also be potentially distracting for readers. I found a few grammatical errors and strange word choice in the piece but on a more macro level I think adding the part about forgiveness into a piece about personal anecdotes was slightly odd. I think this essay needs more clarity and that could be achieved by adding better transitions - although I do like the message of the essay!
Transitions, transitions, transitions. I cannot emphasize often enough how important it is to have a central, overarching theme to the topic which is clear enough to allow sufficient reader comprehension. This essay does have a strong underlying message - that love is the key to unlocking the imperfections of entanglement and responsible for transforming those very same imperfections into the knot of wondrous moments we live for. What it does not have, however, is a consistent transitional tone that conveys the purpose of this prose. The reader is left with questions that blur the lines of the message. Yes, we should love. Yes, love may well disentangle life’s imperfections. But the how and the why behind that thought process is hidden behind an obviously intended anecdotal tone bordering on the pretentious. As a result, the beautiful message of the prose above is overshadowed by a lack of linguistic flow.
For example, the piece started out leaning towards the contemplative by pondering the inherent connotations of “entangled”. The philosophical render was perfectly tuned into a solution for the challenges of entanglement - love. However, the tone of the second paragraph was inconsistent with the contemplative tone that made the introduction so successful and ruined what was achieved in the first - distracting the reader’s overall impression and drawing attention to any flaws to be found later. More odd inconsistencies like these, including the absence of any tie-in for the concept of forgiveness to the purpose of conveying love through anecdotes, ultimately bogged down what I felt could have been one of the most creative contemplative pieces I have ever read in the WSC universe.
Truly, this has the potential to be inspiring - it’s just that sometimes even the best of writers can overshadow their creative premise by overdoing their awareness of literary utilitarianism. All in all, the interesting premise of this piece alone warrants a gold medal for me, but nowhere near individual stardom.
The main takeaway here is the literary and structural methods in which the writer employed to create the overarching tone and effect of the piece.
When writing about anything, it is crucial to swiftly set up boundaries. This often comes in the form of the opening paragraph; and inversely, the final paragraph should serve to provide the reader a satisfactory send-off, while possessing some linguistic or conceptual resemblance to the first. The writer does precisely that.
I appreciate how each paragraph resembles a self-contained message that ultimately contributes to the theme of entanglement. As each paragraph introduces new ideas, while expanding on previously established ones. The culmination of these concepts in the form of a personal experience instils soul into the piece; while the heavy use of questions and dialogue invokes a sense of familiarity and closeness – in addition to getting the reader to contemplate the questions themselves.
Although this seems like a subjective, personal piece at first glance – the inclusion of a historically recorded event to further the case serves to add a wider perspective to the piece. Alternately, it inadvertently adds a sense of inherent credibility to the opinions presented, which subtly amplifies the resonance of the text.
As a whole, this piece does get its point across, and gets the reader involved – not necessarily through the content itself – but definitely through the ways the writer carefully crafts, and presents her string of thoughts onto paper.