Memory | Patrice Yang

Topic: That I would rather have the ability to remember everything than the ability to choose what to forget.

Memories are everyone’s stories. Memories make some people feel light. Memories make others feel as if the world is weighing down on them. But memories are our truths.

Memories of who we were years back, memories of the people we once knew, memories of everything we had gone through, that is what defines us as a person, what makes us who we are. The memories that we have remind us of the good times, of all the people that had helped us when times are tough, the people that made us who we are today. But every single one of us have those memories that we just hope we can forget, the memories that feel like a knife has been stabbed in you, pain erupting within you. Memories that just brings tears to your eyes.

Memories create pain and suffering.

What would you do just escape that feeling for just a little while? How many times have people taken their own lives because of all the thoughts haunting them, circling in their heads are becoming too much for them to handle. How long more does this have to go on? Why is it that we have to suffer alone, stuck in our own heads, in the midst of those painful memories, like steel bars not letting us go, not letting us escape from our cages? Why would someone who has never experienced what real happiness is want to remember every single gory detail of their miserable lives, remember every single aspect of why their lives are so full of pain and suffering. Why must they put up with it when they can simply forget and move on with their lives, focusing on what lies ahead of them instead of what happened in their dreadful pasts.

Memories define who we are as a person.

How would you feel if only every night, the moment you close your eyes, all you see is the your loved ones taking their final breath upon their deathbed. It hurts, so much more than you know. I would kill for the chance to just forget and move on with my life, instead of dwelling on the past, blaming myself for not being able to do more.

Yes, being able to remember everything you see may sound like a blessing at first. But imagine if you were in a crash, or in a fatality, would you like to remember every single gruesome detail of when the time your life seemed so insignificant and that everything you had worked so hard for was just snatched away?

Everyone wants to make a change in this world, everyone wants to improve to be a much better version of themselves, but what use would that be if all we can focus on is what horrible memories we have of the time that has passed? As a student, especially in such a competitive environment, getting a score below perfect feels the same as failing not just myself, but everyone else that has worked hard to get me to where I am today. But all those memories that have been circling around my head aimlessly, all they’ve done is pull me away from what I truly desire.

Freedom, the one thing that every single human being in this world craves for.

Freedom, that one word means so much to me, but everyone has a different definition as to what freedom is to them. Freedom to me is being able to move forward, being able to move on and go on doing what I love. But freedom is something that is beyond my reach because the ropes holding me back, the memories tying me to the past is something that I can’t overcome, no matter how much I try.

What is it like being able to remember everything? Is it blissful or is it woeful? Is it freeing or is it trapping? Is it something you could call a blessing, or is it a curse? For me, being able to remember all the painful moments that I have had experienced is nothing less of a curse. If only, if only I could just pick and choose what I want to forget, I would feel as if a weight has been lifted off my chest. My life would feel ethereal. Because all that’s left behind are the blissful memories, memories that will only push me forward instead of holding me back. Memories that reminds me what I can do, memories that will just help me in my efforts to become my own person, instead of serving as obstacles.

So no, I would not rather have the ability to remember everything than the ability to choose what to forget. Because there are so many things that I long to forget, so many heartbreaking memories that hold me back, I would do anything to forget those memories, even for just a little while.

Memories define who we are as a person.
Sometimes they create hope.
Sometimes they create pain.
Sometimes they’re peaceful, sometimes they’re disastrous.
Memories make up my cage, they trap me.
But forgetting is the key.
And that key sets me free.